I found a need for a MeetUp group for Men to Understand Women.
There are no more rites of masculinity. There are no more tribal rituals celebrating the transformation of boy into a man. We no longer hunt big game, go on a big journey, or sit on a mountain or take a special plant and wait for a vision.
It used to be military service.
There are some milestones that are all remembered like sex for the first time, drinking alcohol, high school graduation, and celebrating the legal drinking age of 21.
The only clear lines in the sand left are marriage and parenthood, but with singles waiting much longer to make such big commitments, they don't really work anymore.
Once I started looking I found several big gaps in my masculinity.
I am not talking about "safe sex". We barely understand how to insert tab A into slot B. I am talking about the art of intimacy, communication, foreplay, afterplay, and basics of how I work and how my partner works.
Both men and woman want to experience pleasure and are taught not to trust themselves. This creates lots of poor experiences that lead people away from their truth.
That is not even touching on cultural shame and the possibility of abuse that around 1 and 4 female and 1 and 7 male children endure.
Sex is also about desire. Understanding our desires, communicating our desires and pursuing them. Our childhood desires are now almost completely drowned in learning to obey authorities, take no risks at all in playing, and remaining distracted with TV and now tablets so that the real world almost melts away.
What do yo want to be when you grow up? That turns into, What is your major in college? And becomes, What job or career will you do? In a culture of infinite distraction, few people find a passion that they can get into flow with and work towards the confidence and internal knowing that comes with mastery.
I had nothing but a job until some friends invited me on a scuba diving vacation. I took lessons, dove with sharks and made "Scuba Diving" my vision and purpose that literally lead to everything I have now.
Several years later, I found Toastmasters and added "communication" to that vision. Other hobbies like photography and reading kept things interesting and kept my thirst for knowledge and "more" growing.
Without desire, vision and confidence that comes from mastering a hobby or pursuit, there is can be no leadership. The best you can hope for is management, defining cells on a spreadsheet and tracking percentage of completion. Leadership is knowing what lies in the hearts of men and woman and translating those cold hard numbers into emotional feelings that motivate individuals to take action.
Humans are like crabs in a bucket, the moment one tries to climb out or do something different, all the rest start pulling them back down. Leadership is the only trait that will allow a man to leave all the crabs behind because he trusts his vision of what lies ahead for him.
He must trust it so much, that others can feel it and trust it too. Especially any woman you are in relationship with.
This meetup meets the 3rd Thursday of the month at 7PM.
Join the MeetUp group for Men to Understand Women.
Feel free to email or call me directly 305.741.4284 for more information.